Ottawa's REAL Problem - Updated

Go ahead, click on the image above. Notice anything odd about Gerber? Yes folks, his eyes are closed.

EDIT: Egads, I am a moron... I was having this strange feeling of deja vu when posting this item, and now realize that I saw this image on a fellow Leaf blog a few weeks ago... my sincere apologies to the original poster, the great ninja of Raking Leafs ^ (I highly recommend making RL a daily stop-over).

I think I need a breathalizer installed on my keyboard. Posting while drinking doesn't mix. Now, speaking of mix, where's did I leave that tonic water...

Sens Going After Critics?

It would appear that the Sens are feeling the heat, and apparently lashing out at the fan-base ^ seems to be their recipe for fixing what ails them. This is of course speculation, and I am not implying any of this is true (down Sens lawyers, down!).

For a bemused Leafs fan, this does explain why a fool like Gord Wilson ^ continues to collect a pay cheque. It is true that every organization out there employs their share of homers, but the Sens-sational sycophantic shilling abilities of the neophytes that report on the glorious team from Kanata have always seemed to push the limits.

For the record, I will gladly host the firemuckler.ca ^ and firemurray.ca ^ sites for free on a fast, U.S. based server out of the reaches of Mlakar and his henchmen.

If you run these sites, drop me a line.

Battle of Ontario Losing Steam?

So the Gm's, busy schmoozing, boozing and taking in some of Toronto's culture ^ (nsfw), decided to stick with their original three-year plan and keep the current un-balanced schedule for next season. Glad you guys all got together to agree to do nothing. Actually, that sounds like every meeting I have ever been a part of, but I digress...

For Leaf fans, this can mean only one thing; 12 more losses to the Senators by at least a touchdown. Personally, besides the fact that I rather feel that the Leafs/Sens games have become a bore (well, after it is 5-0, so about 10 minutes in), I just don't like paying for NHL Center Ice so I can watch the Buds get taken to the woodshed by the laziest team in hockey. Maybe I can convince DirecTV to refund me for these games... and yes, the Sens are the laziest team in hockey simply because they have the laziest player in hockey, one Jason Spezza. He seems to have infected the whole team lately, and this is a point that even the most die-hard Sens fans (yes, both of you) could agree to. It was a struggle, but he somehow managed to wrest that title away from perennial front-runner Alexei Yashin. Kudos Jason.

Of course, in calling the Sens the laziest team in hockey, I open myself to criticisms like, "How can the laziest team in hockey beat the Leafs by 25 goals a game?". Clearly, logic would dictate that either: 1) The Leafs are the laziester team and I am a liar, or 2) my brain checked out long-ago when it comes to the Leafs and 'logic'.

Lets go with a little of both and call it even. I truly believe that the Leaf players are 'over' this rivalry. They are sick of playing the Sens, sick of looking at Neil furrowing his brow at the bench, sick of the whole deal. It's as if they decided, "Look, we beat them in the playoffs four straight seasons, they are dead to us."

I can't say I blame them for the attitude in general, but they are clearly forgetting one important point. They actually NEED to beat the Sens more than once a season if they would like to play hockey when it counts. Heck, I know I am sick of going into work everyday, with their dress-codes and their "don't sleep in your cube" rules, but I still have to do it. How else would I keep myself living the life of luxury, awash with the finer things ^ in life?

They have to suck it up and play like these games matter, because they do. Bitching and moaning about it, something they mastered during the Quinn era, is a cop-out and Leafs fans should rightly demand that they play these games with more passion. If the laziest team in hockey can do it, the 'new' Leafs sure as hell better match them out there inch-for-inch. If they can't man-up and play these BoO games with some passion and self-respect, something the Sens have shown in spades, I will gladly pass the torch of laziest team onto the Buds, because it will be well deserved.

The Sainted Sens: No Laughing Matter

If you were to believe Alex Ovechkin (and we have no reason not to), the Senators were making less than flattering comments ^ about the Capitals on Monday when they strode out to a quick 3-0 lead. Needless to say the highly motivated bunch in Washington ended up winning the game in OT, 4-3.

For those with a long memory for anything Sens-related (I am seeking treatment), this is not the first time they have been accused of mocking another team. Last season, it was the Habs they were deriding during their early season run.

Seriously, how can a team that hasn't won anything, ever, and this season has only five wins, three of them 'gimmes' against the Leafs, laugh at anything or anyone? The Senators are quickly getting a reputation as the laziest bunch in the league, and if Mr. Ovechkin is to be believed, they will also have a reputation as the smuggest. Yes, that is a word.

Here's hoping they get pounded by the Thrashers tonight.

Leafs vs. Sens: Don't Believe the Hype?

I'm not really sure what to make of tonight's tilt in Kanata. We've all seen this before, where fans and media alike get all lathered up about the second game of a home and home tilt, only to see a game that is usually more disappointing than the Superbowl always is.

I'm not sure this is the case tonight... the way the game ended in Toronto, and the way the barbs have been flying in the local rags, leads me to believe we may actually see some fireworks tonight.

For starters, I think it is all but assured that McGratton and Belak will be dancing (assuming of course that Belak is actually in the lineup). As for Chris Neil, people would naturally assume that he and Tucker might have a go, but don't be surprised to see Big Hal take him on. The two have ^ a history ^, so don't be shocked if it happens tonight.

If the game is really as wild as some are predicting, expect Tucker and Fisher to tangle, with Fisher having a huge advantage, IMO.

Either way, I will be watching the game with a Sens 'fan' this evening (he is of the third variety, having at one time been a Habs fan), so it should be an interesting time!

Brian McGratton, Yet Another Sens Fool

I wonder what McGratton was thinking with his classless taunt of Belak, who at the end of the fight looked hurt and turned away. For those that missed it, McGratton made a 'turtle' jesture to Belak after the fight...

For those with a short memory, here is McGratton getting his ass handed to him by Peters, who had the decency to actually stop when McGratton got hurt. I wonder if big Brian realizes just how classless this makes him look?

You Won't See Tucker Doing This...

I have had no respect for Chris Neil ever since he sucker-punched Gary Roberts in a pre-season game 4 years ago...

Sainted Sens: The Parade Route Starts in Kanata

While seeing the Sens down and out is a pleasure to most Leafs fans, one could only wonder how long it would be until the Sens had a game like Saturday's, in which they pounded on the Devils 9-1.

With a home and home series starting on Tuesday this week, Leaf fans likely are happy to see the Sens get those nine goals out of their system, but probably aren't happy at the thought of a rejuvenated Sens team firing on all cylinders.

Interesting to see that Emery has replaced Gerber as the defacto #1 man in net... wonder what the fallout will be for a goalie making north of 3 million dollars with the 26th best GAA and just one win... that is an expensive bench warmer!

Needling the 'Sainted Sens': Scowly McNeil

My new name for Chris Neil. He's got two facial expressions: an over-the-top scowl/grimace that looks like he is in a face-making contest with an eight year old kid, or the 'happy face' that he makes when he does something of acheivement (like finishing a Popular Mechanics for Kids magazine or remembering that the stove is hot and he shouldn't touch it).

Man would I like to play poker with this guy.

Needling the 'Sainted Sens': What is a Sens Fan?

Seeing as the Sens did not exist a mere 15 years ago, this question naturally arises in the minds of many Leafs and Habs fans.

Really, there are only three possibilities, in my view:

1. The current Sens fan was so young that the Sens are in fact the team that they grew up with and naturally followed;
2. The current Sens fan was not a hockey fan before 1992, or;
3. The current Sens fan was a 'fan' of another team and happily abandoned their original team for the upstart Sens of the mid-90's.

[grumpy old man mode] Situation #1 means that the Sens fan in question is probably no older than say 25, and therefore we can gladly dismiss their opinions/beliefs/ideas without merit. Sure, give them another 10 years, and they will be the died-in-the-wool fans that they claim to be, but c'mon, you gotta earn it kiddies! We call these people "children".[/grumpy old man mode]

Situation #2 implies that they are likely older than 25 (much older), and are essentially a born-again hockey fan. These types of fans tend to be the most enthusiastic, and yet at the same time, the most easily dismissed. Why? Because it is very likely that they have never strapped a pair of skates on, and have never taken a half-frozen street hockey tennis-ball in the nuts. This is an automatic disqualification in the world of hockey fandom. These are your "born-agains".

Situation #3 is the saddest of the bunch. In this case, the fan is likely to be in the 25-40 year-old cohort, and probably claims to be a 'life-long' Sens fan. In reality, they were most likely a Leafs or Habs fan from birth, and only converted to being a Sens fan in the mid to late 90's when they hitched their ride to the 'new hotness' that was the up-and-coming Sens of that era. They have forsaken their original team for a temptress dressed in red and black, one that will prove to be a harsh mistress come springtime. We call these people, aptly, the "traitors".

So which one is it Sens fans? Are you a child, a born-again, or a bandwagon jumping traitor?

Needling the 'Sainted Sens': Corvo Ain't Exactly a Saint

Since the Ottawa Senators brought Joe Corvo on-board to help offset the loss of Chara this off-season, I have had more than a few of my sens-friends tell me what a great addition he is. They will then, as is typical, launch into some rant about what a bunch of no good, dirty SOB's the Leafs are, taking shots at various players for their apparent failures, both on and off the ice.

A refresher:

"...Prosecutors said Corvo, a 6-foot-1, 213-pound defenseman,
grabbed a 34-year-old woman's buttocks last November. Restaurant
staff told him to leave, but Corvo returned, punched the woman and
then kicked her when she fell to the ground, prosecutors said..."

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/wire?id=1648511

Corvo later went on to plead guilty. Maybe that halo hovering over Kanata just got a little more tarnished?